For all past copies of the newsletter, please visit:
http://almage.org/en/who-we-are/newsletters
OLD
BONES NEWSLETTER
Ten-year anniversary issue,
June 2019
Almage; Rosemont-ST. Michel Satellite- 6341 Delorimier St.,
Montreal (514) 722-3061
Community Support Worker: Lynne Tinman
Advisory Committee Members; Frank, Barbara, Stella and Janet
Almage Chef; Rami Almage Volunteer; George
Filomena Manno worked with Catholic Community Services and with Almage. She was instrumental in setting up the new building on Hochelaga Street and for the creation of the four satellite centres. I believe the year was 2007.
I don’t know when Diane Doonan was hired by Catholic Community Charities. However, in 2007 her title was Touring Centre Coordinator for Catholic Community Services /Almage Satellites. Diane shepherded together the first members of the CCS/Almage satellites.
Dolores McAuley, a member of CCS/Almage, Hochelaga/Maisonneuve Satellite, was the Ambassador for our satellite and Barbara Fournier and I were volunteers.
The
satellites were;
CCS/Almage Rosemont/St. Michel, 3780 Villeray St.
Montreal
CCS/Almage Hochelaga/Maisonneuve, 1620 Ave, de
LaSalle. Montreal
CCS/Almage RDP/PAT, 11991 Pierre Baillergeron. Montreal
CCS/Almage Montreal North, 19374 Cobourg, Montreal North
Note from the editor
It has been quite some time since we set eyes on ‘Old Bones’ by that I mean, the newsletter not us! Ten years have passed since its inception in May, 2009 so I thought it might be fun to print an anniversary edition. Well, the actual truth is that my daughter, Jennifer, suggested it several times and finally I decided to go forward with it.
I believed then, and still believe that laughter is the best medicine so we will concentrate on that and some of our history.
The
newsletter was meant to be a way of getting to know each other. Through time it
morphed into a venue for passing on pertinent information to our members from
Diane, our members and later from the Director at Almage. But most importantly,
it was a way for our members to share articles and jokes. In reality, it is a
record of our history.
Looking back through the newsletters I found some issues were much better than others. Nonetheless it will give you an overall view of what our members were up to; trips, parties, in-house entertainers, fund raising events etc. We will also find in them information about the individuals who worked freely and selflessly to bring our group to where it is today. But I believe the most important section was ‘Laughter is the best medicine.’ It was the most read section. I believe the final issue of ‘Old Bones’ was printed in January 2017. For anyone interested in seeing them, a copy is kept in our cabinet. See Barbara or Lynne.
CHEF MADELINE left a big empty space in our hearts and stomachs when she retired as our volunteer chef. We were sad, lonely and hungry but thanks to Lynne, she made sure we didn’t all fade away from malnutrition by providing us intermittently with her wonderful home-made dinners.
Madeline, a CGEPT professor, signed up as a volunteer to learn to speak English. Often, she would give a talk on different events mostly her vacation experiences. Eventually, Madeline stayed because she said she loved us. We love and respect Madeline and wish her all the very best there is in life.
OUR NEW VOLUNTEERS; RAMI AND GEORGE
And then we received a wonderful gift this year when Almage hired Rami, a wonderful chef to provide hot meals for us every Monday. We really do have to say we are spoiled and we like it! Lynne will testify to that. Rami certainly provides good food to satisfy our appetite and cravings. Thank you, Rami. You are our shining star. You nourish our bodies and keep us healthy.
GEORGE: If you need exercise and a pleasant stroll around the neighbourhood George will lead the way. We are ever so grateful to George for giving of his time, energy, and knowledge. Our need of Tech (technology) education is very apparent when one sees the line up of members waiting for him to explain and/or fix our electronic gadgets i.e. laptops, iPhones, iPads, apps, tablets etc. I think we should drink a toast to ourselves for wanting to keep up to date with todays’ technology but we must give George cause to scratch his head when we say;
Hey
George, I put the thingamabob inside the whatchamacallit
turned the doohickey and the wuteveritis still doesn’t work. Any ideas?
Quote:
The surest path to success is where others walk with you. Author unknown
The ability for a group of people to do
remarkable things hinges on how well those people can pull together as a
team. -Simon Sinek
WHAT’S HAPPENING AT ALMAGE?
Just in case you missed it, we now have our own personal website! http://almage.home.blog. Check it out! If you want to share an idea, photo, or joke etc. on our website contact George he will help you. His email address is almagerosemount@gmail.com Wow! How much fun is that! Thank you, George!
ANNUAL
GENERAL MEETING on Tuesday, June 11th 2019 at
10:00am.
8680 Hochelaga St.
On June 25th at 1:00 pm; Eating Well workshop:
sugar and salt: What’s new?
Call Tonya to confirm your attendance at either or both events. (514) 355-1712
Ext 121
ALMAGE NEWSLETTER: You can have a copy delivered to your home at the cost of $10.00 to cover mailing costs.
6/49 DRAW is on again. See Lynne.
DROP OUNCES and they will add up to lost pounds. How about an anonymous weigh-in? The only person who will see the scale will be George. He will keep the records private. To be even more secure we can have a number to replace our name.
The person who has lost the most will receive a star.
Collect 5 stars and you will receive a (undetermined) gift. Details are still to be worked out.
EXERCISE with George; Monday morning
yoga followed by a pleasant stroll around the neighbourhood is a great way to
start the week. You know what the doctors say; If you don’t use it you lose
it.” So, let’s get walking!
HISTORY OF OUR GROUP
Helena and I are working on a project that will take a considerable amount of
time but when it is completed hopefully it will be of interest to all of us at
Almage. We are going to attempt to put into writing a time line and history of
our group. If you have any old documents to share with us, we will be more than
happy to have them.
A SPECIAL THANK YOU to all our Rosemount/St. Michel members who give freely of their time and energy, working in the centre every Monday to make life easier for all of us; Frank for his wonderful cookies, Patra for the gift of coffee and drinks, Therese our attendance keeper, Shirley our bingo assistant. The kitchen crew –The ever faithful and hard-working duo Eva and Marliese; Arleen, Patra and Helena; and to everyone who participates and makes our day fun.
DID YOU KNOW?
Peanut
Butter was invented and patented in Montreal by Marcellus Gilmore Edson in
1884.
The first traffic light was installed in1927 on St. Antoine Street (Craig St.
at the time.) to allow trains out of the Craig terminus. Founded in 1807, the
Royal Mtl. Curling Club is the oldest sports club in North America.
REMEMBERING OUR ALMAGE FRIENDS.
They say it takes a minute to find
a special person,
an hour to appreciate
them, a day to love them
but then an entire life to forget them
We will always remember those who have gone before us, and departed this world for a better place. Their spirits, smiles, laughter, and all the things that made them special and loved will remain in our hearts.
Cheryl
(Bee), Ted (Czapski), Sue (Johnson), Hester (Kerr), Myron (Pichur),
Angela (Silver), and Bea (Thompson) May they rest in peace.
Others have joined our group and were unable to continue coming to our Monday meetings. Many moved out of the district or were no longer able to venture out alone.
Pat (Madden) is back at
her residence in CHLD Herron, Dorval.
She is doing well but she will be on a drip antibiotic for the next
month.
I have lost touch with; Ruth Belcourt, Nancy Bray, Paulette Marsolis, Helen Monsacchi, and Bella Yaunish.
The other members; Jeannette Gibson is doing well from what I am told. And Steven Burdzy was not at his best but was doing ok, IvyLin Scott has been ill. Ilya occasionally comes to visit us., Madeleine Roberts is doing well at home. Doris Trute moved to a senior residence in Ontario close to her nephew and family. (I believe she is in Ottawa) Janet Matey joined an Italian group in St. Leonard.
Perhaps we can have a tea and invite those we have addresses for to it.
I MEANT TO DO MY WORK TODAY
I Meant to Do My Work Today
But a brown bird sang in the apple tree,
And a butterfly flitted across the field.
And all the leaves were calling me.
And the wind went sighing over
the land
Tossing the grasses to and fro
And a rainbow held out its shining hand
So what could I do but laugh and go?
by Richard LeGallienne
ZIPLOC OMELET
Submitted by Dolores for Old Bones Newsletter, October 2009.
If you are making these for 6 or 8 people put out a tray with a variety of ingredients such as cheese, ham, peppers, tomatoes, salsa.
You can have your guests write their names on a quart size freezer Ziploc bag with a permanent marker.
Crack 2 large or extra-large eggs into the bag. (not more than 2) Shake to combine them. Add ingredients of choice. Shake. Make sure to get all the air out of the bag and zip it up. Place the bag into rolling, boiling water for exactly 13 minutes. (We did 15 minutes) You can usually cook 6 to 8 omelettes in a large pot. Open the bag and the omelet slides out easily. Nice served with fresh fruit and coffee cake.
Imagine having these ready the night before, and putting them in boiling water while getting ready. And in 15 minutes you have a nice omelet for a quick breakfast
QUIZ (Answers are on the last page)
A Russell Crow B Paul Hogan C Greg Norman D Mel Gibson
2. My dad gave me the same nickname that he had given to a buddy who saved his life by waking him one night and telling him not to move because a viper was poised inches beneath his eye. Who am I?
A Tiger Woods B Sting C Magic Johnson D Hulk Hogan
3. A man arrived on Friday in a small town. He stayed for two days and left on Friday. How is that possible?
4. Who was the legendary Benedictine monk who invented champagne?
5. Name the largest freshwater lake in the world?
6. Where would you find the Sea of Tranquility?
7. What item of clothing was named after its Scottish inventor?
8. What kind of weapon is a falchion?
9. What is another word for lexicon?
10. Name the seventh planet from the sun.
11. Who invented the rabies vaccination?
QUOTE Submitted by Edith for an earlier edition of Old Bones.
It is time to diet when you nod your chin and the other two agree.
I’VE LEARNED by Andy Rooney
- I’ve learned that; the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
- I’ve learned that; when you’re in love, it shows.
- I’ve learned that just one person saying “You’ve made my day”- makes my day.
- I’ve learned that having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful things in the world.
- I’ve learned that being kind is more important than being right.
- I’ve learned that you should never say no to a gift from a child.
- I’ve learned that I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.
- I’ve learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
- I’ve learned that sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
- I’ve learned that simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
- I’ve learned that money doesn’t buy class.
- I’ve learned that it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
- I’ve learned that under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
- I’ve learned that the Lord didn’t do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?
- I’ve learned that to ignore the facts, does not change the facts.
- I’ve learned that when you plan to get even with someone you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
- I’ve learned that love, not time heals all wounds.
- I’ve learned that the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
- I’ve learned that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
- I’ve learned that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
- I’ve learned that life is tough but I’m tougher.
- I’ve learned that opportunities are not lost. Someone will take the ones you miss.
- I’ve learned that when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
- I’ve learned that one should keep his words both soft, and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
- I’ve learned that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
- I’ve learned that I can’t choose how I feel but I can choose what I do about it.
- I’ve learned that when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.
- I’ve learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.
- I’ve learned that it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life-threatening situation
- I’ve learned that the less time I have to work with the more things I get done.
- I’ve learned that friends are very rare jewels indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear; they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us. I’M STILL LEARNING
Submitted by Jennifer
COCA COLA
Confederate Colonel John Pemberton, who was wounded in the American Civil War and became addicted to morphine, began a mission to find a substitute for the problematic drug. In 1885 at Pemberton’s Eagle Drug and Chemical House, a drugstore in Columbus, Georgia, he registered Pemberton’s French Wine Coca nerve tonic. The drink’s name refers to two of its original ingredients: coca leaves, and kola nuts the beverage’s source of caffeine. The current formula of Coca-Cola remains a trade secret.
In 1886, when Atlanta and Fulton County passed prohibition legislation, Pemberton responded by developing Coca-Cola, a non-alcoholic version of Pemberton’s French Wine Coca. The first sales were at Jacob’s Pharmacy in Atlanta, Georgia, on May 8, 1886, where it initially sold for five cents a glass.
Drugstore soda fountains were popular in the United States at the time due to the belief that carbonated water was good for the health, and Pemberton’s new drink was marketed and sold as a patent medicine, Pemberton claiming it a cure for many diseases, including morphine addiction, indigestion, nerve disorders, headaches, and impotence. Pemberton ran the first advertisement for the beverage on May 29th of the same year in the Atlanta Journal
Coca-Cola, originally intended as a patent medicine, was bought out on April 14, 1888, by the young druggist Asa Griggs Candler who purchased a one-third interest in the formula of an almost completely unknown proprietary elixir known as Coca-Cola.
Asa Griggs Candler’s marketing tactics led Coca-Cola to its dominance of the world soft-drink market throughout the 20th century.
LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. W.C. Fields
A
fifty-ish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and
squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, “Do
you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What’s the matter with you?”
The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, “I don’t care, I just
came from having a mammogram and the doctor says I have the breasts of an
18-year-old”.
The husband said, “What did he say about your 60-year-old ass?”
“Your name never came up,” she replied. Submitted by Barbara
On her first day at the Senior residence, the new Director addressed all the seniors pointing out some of her rules,
The female sleeping quarters will be out
of bounds for all males, and the male dormitory to the females. Anyone caught breaking this rule will be
fined $20.00 the first time. She
continued anyone caught breaking this rule the second time will be charged
$60.00. Being caught a third time will
cost you a fine of $180.00.
Are there any questions?
At this time an older lady named Alice stood up in the crowd and inquired: How
much for a season pass? Submitted
by Barbara
Jan
was lying in bed one night. Art was falling asleep, but Jan was in a
romantic mood. She said: “You used to hold my hand when we were
courting.”
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to
sleep.
A few moments later she said: “Then you used to kiss me.
Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled
down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said: “Then you used to bite my neck.”
Angrily, Art threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
“Where are you going?” Jan asked.
“To get my teeth!” Submitted
by Barbara
Baby’s first doctors visit; A woman and a baby went into the doctors examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam. The doctor arrives and examines the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned asked if the baby was being breast fed or bottle fed.
Breast
fed, she replied. Well, strip down to your waist the doctor ordered
She did. He examined her breasts for a while in a very professional and
detailed examination. Motioning her to
get dressed, the doctor said No wonder the baby is underweight, you don’t have
any milk.
I know she said. I’m his grandmother. But I’m glad I came!
Three old ladies are sitting around a table playing bridge
and bragging about their sons. “My Freddie,” said Margaret, “Everyone should be
so lucky to have a son like my Freddie. Once a week he brings me a huge bouquet
of flowers, he’s constantly bringing me out to restaurants to eat, if I so much
as hint that I want something the next morning it’s on my doorstep.”
“That’s very nice about your Freddie”, says Gertrude. “But with all due
respect, when I think about the way my Sammy takes care of me, it just can’t
compare. Every morning as soon as I wake up, he greets me with bacon and
freshly brewed coffee. Every lunch he comes over and cooks me a gourmet lunch,
and every supper he brings me to his house for supper, he truly treats me like
a queen.”
“WELL!” Says Beatrice “I don’t want to make any of you feel bad or anything, but wait until you hear about my Harry, twice a week he pays someone $200 an hour just so he can lie on their couch and talk to them, and who do you think he speaks about at those prices? asked Beatrice with a big excited double chin smile. “I’ll tell you who he speaks about! ALL HE SPEAKS ABOUT IS ME!”
An elderly lady out
shopping returned to her car and found four men in the act of leaving with her
vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags,
drew her handgun and screamed at the top of her lungs “I have a loaded gun and
I know how to use it. Get out of the car
and run like mad.”
The four men didn’t wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad.
The lady loaded her shopping bags into the back seat and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she couldn’t get the key into the ignition. She tried and tried and then she realized why. It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a frisbee and two 12 packs of beer in the front seat…. After a few minutes she found her own car parked four or five spaces further down.
She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The Sergeant she reported to couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed across to the other end of the counter where four pale faced men were reporting a car-jacking by a mad elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair and caring a large handgun. No charges were filed.
The moral of this story: If you are going to have a senior moment, make it memorable!
Elderly couple in church:
Wife turns to husband and says; I
just done a silent fart what should I do?
Her husband replies “Put new batteries in your hearing aid?”
OLE
FILLS IN: A doctor in Duluth wanted to go hunting so he approached
his assistant. “Ole, I’m going hunting tomorrow and want to close the
clinic. I want you to take care of the
clinic and take care of my patients.”
“Yes sir!” answered Ole.
The doctor returns the next day and asks: “So, Ole! How was your day?”
Ole told him that he took care of three patients. The first one had a headache so I gave him
Tylenol. Bravo mate. And the second one,
asked the doctor.
The second one had stomach burning so I gave him Maalox sir, says Ole.
Bravo! You’re good at this and what about the third one, asks the doctor.
Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters. Like a flame, she undresses herself and lies
down on the table and shouts: Help Me-I
haven’t seen a man in over two years!
Thunderin’ Lord Ole, what did you do? asks the Doctor.
I put drops in her eyes.
A wife treats hubby by taking him to a
strip Club for his birthday.
At the club the Doorman says “Hi Jim. How are You?”
The wife asks how does he know you? He
says “Oh dear, I play football with him.”
At the bar the Bartender says “The usual Jim?”
Jim says to his wife. “Before you say anything, he’s on the dart team.”
Next a stripper says “Do you crave the special again??
The wife storms out dragging Jim with her and jumps into a taxi.
The taxi driver says “Hey Jimmy boy you picked up an ugly one this time!”
Jim’s funeral is on Saturday
Customer; I’ve
been calling 700-1000 for several days and can’t get through; Can you help?
Operator: Where did you get that number
sir?
Customer: It’s on the door of your
business.
Operator: Sir, those are the hours that
we’re open.
A man
was recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he
is feeling. “I’m OK he says but I didn’t
like the four-letter word the doctor used in surgery.” “What did he say?” asked the nurse.
Oops!
I
wasn’t planning on going for a run today but those cops came out of nowhere,
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unfortunately, when typing her address, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot
down here.
LAST RIDE ON MY HARLEY
While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head. Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, “Are you okay?”
As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low-cut blouse with cleavage to die for.
“I’m okay I think,” I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.
She said, “Get in and I’ll take you home, so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.”
“That’s nice of you,” I answered, “but I don’t think my wife will like me doing that!”
“Oh, come now, I’m a nurse,” she insisted. “I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly.”
Well, she was pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, “I’m sure my wife won’t like this.”
We arrived at her place which was just few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, “I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I’d better go now.”
“Don’t be silly!” she said with a smile. “Stay for a while. She won’t know anything. By the way, where is she?”
“Still in the ditch with the Harley, I guess.”
Quote:
Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else. Author unknown.
ANSWERS TO QUIZ (on page 5)
1. My father moved our family from the United States to Australia in the 1960’s so that none of his sons would be drafted. I was born the sixth of eleven children and went on to have six of my own. Who am I? D Mel Gibson
2.My dad gave me the same nickname that he had given to a buddy who saved his life by waking him one night and telling him not to move because a viper was poised inches beneath his eye Who am I? A Tiger Woods
3.A man arrived on Friday in a small town. He stayed for two days and left on Friday. How is that possible? His horses name was Friday
4. Who was the legendary Benedictine monk who invented champagne? Dom Perignon.
5. Name the largest freshwater lake in the world? Lake Superior.
6. Where would you find the Sea of Tranquility? The Moon.
7. What item of clothing was named after its Scottish inventor? A Mackintosh.
8. What kind of weapon is a falchion? A sword.
9. What is another word for lexicon? Dictionary.
10. Name the seventh planet from the sun. Uranus.
11. Who invented the rabies vaccination? Louis Pasteur.
We are blessed to be a part of this group. We have always had wonderful men and women who make our group a friendly, warm, welcoming place. I felt a real kinship with both past and present members.
Our group has always been a safe place to relax, be ourselves, and never worry about being hurt by words or actions. We never felt the need to hide or protect the things that are ours. I pray that will never change.
Thank you everyone for being kind, friendly, true, trustworthy, non-judgemental, accepting and thoughtful friends.
Quotes submitted by Edith (From earlier editions of Old Bones.)
Some people are good at counting calories, they have the figures to prove it.
If everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
He who hesitates is interrupted.
When shopping I may see someone, say “Hi” and
have a chat,
Then, when the person walks away, I ask myself, “who was that?
Don’t look back you’re not going that way.
Almage Senior Community Center 